Old Man Tim(e)

It started simply enough... an attempt to cop-out of actually doing a blog entry, but instead do a sort of "Year in Review" type thing where I just reminisce about this past year to which we will soon bid farewell.

Trouble is, I can't seem to remember much from this year, but here's my list of stuff worth noting in 2006 that I came up with in like 20 minutes or so:

1. Pearl Jam releases self-titled album (love it or hate it, I took my pick)
   
2. Turning 30 didn't end the universe as we know it (or did it?)
   
3. 'Stranger Than Fiction' made me smile even more than 'Little Miss Sunshine' did
   
4. John and Kim got all hitched-up (Yay for pinecones... but what about #2?)
   
5. Against all odds, I somehow managed to upgrade my car situation (rethinking #2)
   
6. Say hello to our little friends: Eva, Lily & Noah
   (Where's the link, Grossardts?)
7. Okie State beats Nebraska... at football, and wins a bowl game (seriously... #2??)
   
8. Barrett, Crippin, Heather, Jerry, Kim, Lucas & Amber, and Spring show me the ways of the blogosphere
9. I laughed myself silly watching the end of the Bears vs. Cardinals Monday Night Football game
10. You actually read this (Lame-O-Meter Threat Level: Orange)

Feel free to add your own tidbits of trivia, experiences of exhilaration, moments of memorabilia, stories of success, details of despair, remarks to remember, or appalling abuses of alliteration from 2006.

See ya next year,

Tim "Donkey Kong Jr." James

A Cup of Good Cheer

'Twas the week before Christmas and time for a blog,
But I'd thought of nothing, my mind was a fog.

I am looking forward to Christmas vacation,
as home with the family is my destination.

But before I can get there there's things left to do
like rearrange woodblocks and play my kazoo.

The house is all piled up with laundry and bills;
coupon upon coupon promising great deals.

So much going on, what with shopping and work
and trying to drive without being a jerk.

Not the best 'something' in which to create,
so I opted instead to procrastinate.

But time has a way of still marching along
despite my best efforts to shorten its song.

So here I sit now just a few days away
from the time of the year that we give things away.

But 'The Perfect Gift' is oft hard to find
Is it more 'in the Spirit' to be just and kind?

"The thought is what counts!" that's my Christmas cry,
the problem is most times it just doesn't fly.

There's friends to remember and strangers in need.
To fill all the stockings: well... daunting indeed.

"Peace on Earth" to happen, must begin somewhere.
Could it be just as simple as showing you care?

Here I am now rambling on in this post
and still haven't said what I wanted to most.

Try to think back to a friend or a toy
or a part of your life that has given you Joy.

Pause for a moment, and stop to consider
how big of a treasure it is to remember.

These times that we're given; hold onto them tight
for someday they'll help in the darkness of night.

We're all on this journey, single threads in a rope,
specs of dust all, but yet able to hope.

So share when you're able, and ask when in need.
For nothing unites like a heartfelt good deed.

And while in the 'real world' of daily routine,
you're filling your place in a greater machine.

By touching one life, when given a chance,
you're playing your part in this life's grand dance.

All is not perfect, I'm first to admit,
But you make a difference with each little bit.

Now down off my soapbox I'll take a quick step
I guess this no longer inside could be kept.

With these few typed words, I've now met my goal
Of making an entry not leaving a hole.

This one last warning the author admits:
I don't do a good job of giving out gifts.

So if I get you nothing, don't take it as bad.
It's just that I'm lazy and not that I'm mad.

Tim "person of the year" James

Having Solved All Other Problems...

I was wanting to rant about Dr. James Dobson's take on the new movie 'Happy Feet' that I overheard on the radio (around 17:40 - 21:00 in the broadcast) this week over lunch (I tuned in with the express intent of getting frustrated... mission accomplished)


Apparently the fact that a little penguin is an outcast and different than the other penguins, doesn't fit in, and tells his dad he needs to be accepted for who he is means that 'Happy Feet' is promoting the 'homosexual agenda'... thus obviously bringing on the age of the Apocalypse. 'Happy Feet' for crying out loud. And then, the Focus on the Family movie review is for the most part positive:

"Gratifyingly... the film doesn't appear to boast any banner other than, 'Friendship and love can overcome any difference.'"

But I won't rant about that, ranting is no good for the soul. Chicken soup, however...

Tim "I don't understand this world in which I live" James

Thank you very much

Wow. This is an interesting take on The King to say the least.

One has to wonder about an Elvis impersonation act that is performed in Welsh, by a bald dude, doesn't use Elvis songs, and involves a gold coffin.

Kinda reminds me of Bubba Ho-tep, that cinematic piece of gold where:

"Elvis and JFK, both alive and in nursing homes, fight for the souls of their fellow residents as they battle an ancient Egyptian Mummy"

That and the to-be-released next July Reese's peanut butter cup with banana creme in the middle in honor of The King.

"It brings The King's favorite taste of peanut butter and banana to life, and it's a fantastic way to bring two American icons together."

Or the 'jailhouse Elvises' who helped Davenport, Iowa dig out of the big snow last week.

I don't make this stuff up... at least I don't think I do.

Tim "won't share his Elvis drawing" James

Coolest Sculptures Ever

I wish I'd thought of this first.

Tim "hey, at least it's an entry" James

The Giving of Thanks

It's that time of year again, when the family starts trying to get together more often, the leaves all fall down, the food seems to come in larger and more frequent quantities, those people in New York are putting the finishing touches on their floats, the winter coats come out of storage, the college football bowl schedule begins to take shape, the Christmas lights go up (unless you never took them down), the Great Pumpkin has come and gone, the "Good morning window-frost" routine is begun again, Retail Stores are aglow with Christmas Spirit, and we here in North America have given it a name: Thanksgiving.So give a little thanks this season. Or better yet, a lot of thanks. Even better, do it the whole year round. Stop all the madness and running about and take time to reflect on the high points you've encountered on this a here Journey we call Life.

And be thankful you're not Clyde '05. The best laid plans...

Tim "fan of tryptophan" James

Calling Tech Support

So everyone at the company gets an email today from the IT department concerning 'missing' items in Outlook's 'Deleted Items' folder. The reason these items went 'missing' is that something runs regularly on the server to remove old items from the 'Deleted Items' folder.

Apparently this has caused some people concern.

Enough concern that we ALL got an email about it. Company-wide emergency style.

I'm sorry, what was the issue again? I DELETED an email, and now it's gone!!?! How can this be!??! Will the madness never end!!?!

A line from the email:

"IT recommends that e-mail users do not store messages in their Deleted Items folder"

Wow. Sheer brilliance, I say.

Tim "where'd I put that SPAM again?" James

When in Barbados...

So let me get this straight... I'm walking along in the evening, enjoying the night air and the beautiful scenery on my perfect vacation when I begin to notice that perhaps there's something a little bit off about the sound the 'gravel' makes as I walk. Further investigation reveals: Giant African Snails. Wow. Who knew?

Sure glad I'm not vacationing in the Caribbean right now.

Well, actually, on second thought, I think I could maybe handle the giant, ravenous, fast-multiplying, African land snails given a few weeks to get used to it.

Perhaps three would do.

Yeah, three would do nicely.

Oh, and here's another article I thought was interesting, but didn't know how to berate properly.

Tim "buy one get one" James

Best Plans Ever

Sometimes you've gotta wonder what people are thinking. Okay, most times you've gotta wonder what people are thinking because you probably can't read minds (but if you can, I feel your pain), and most people don't just spend their days blurting out a constant stream of play-by-play on what's going on in their noggins... well, most people who don't have blogs I guess. That said, you've really gotta wonder what the following folks were thinking.

First up: Mr. "I know the perfect solution for not catching my plane". Wow. What a brilliant scheme! What could possibly go wrong with that idea? I dunno what they teach at 'college' in Florida, but it doesn't appear Avoiding Momentary Gross Lapses in Judgement 101 is on the required list. Come to think of it, I don't know of any schools that even offer, much less require, that particular course. Hmmm... perhaps we could add Applied Common Sense 211 and Principles of Sanity 305 and have ourselves a little honorary degree program going on.

Next we have the "Missed that little detail" group of geniuses here. Too bad they couldn't get away with those heating pipes, that would have been quite the little score, let me tell you what.

And then, today's "Robbers mistake empty bag for cash" story brought to you by Stockholm. Any article that uses the word 'comeuppance' is gonna sway me in the elections of coolness that are due to start anytime now (and I'm sure I'll be asked to vote). I also gotta hand it to any pair of robbers that make their getaway on a moped. That's some uber-coolness there.

To close out the round, we'll finish with a little bit of "Why I decided to start a blog" fodder. Take that, Google News! If transcripts were just made available for the 'breaking news' stories that air constantly and the celebrity interviews that go along with them. Nothing but Primo Grade-A news articles would be searchable then, and Google News would finally become relevant for our time, dontcha think?

Tim "5-gallon bucket" James

Carve Up a Winner

With these step-by-step instructions, I'm sure to win the pumpkin carving contest this year!!

• "Scroll down and learn how to create your very own."

Sounds like a good plan. I'll take you up on this challenge, I've got my pumpkin and I'm ready to go. Bring it on!

• "Picking out the right pumpkin is very important."

Ahh. I see. With instructions like these, I'm sure to succeed!! Hopefully the one I got is "right".

• "After a few hundred mess ups you will begin to know just exactly..."

Uhm... hold on just a second, let me get this straight... A few hundred mess-ups to BEGIN to know?!!?! Dang, yo. Hmmm... Where am I gonna find 100+ "right" pumpkins? That's gonna take a little time, methinks.

• "Hard to explain but the pictures may explain."

Uhm... no. It's not working. Perhaps some video would help me out here. That or a little bit of sculpting ability. After my hundred and eleventeenth failure, I'm sure not getting too worried about the 45° X-Acto teeth.

• "Hope you enjoyed our tutorial."

If by 'enjoyed' you mean 'found interesting, promising, and delightfully simple, yet ultimately unrepeatable' then yes, yes I did.

Oh well, maybe it just wasn't meant to be. There's always next year...

Tim "sticking to Paint" James

Feast Yourself to a Free Ride

Now Six Flags is feeling the wrath of all that is PETA. Check out the story for yourselves, then decide... "Would I be up to the task for four "Fast-Lane" passes? " Perhaps, but perhaps not. It depends on a lot of factors:

1. How hungry I was that day
2. How busy the park was
3. How big and squishy the bug was
4. The precise definition of 'eating'
5. If a 'reversal of fortune' is allowed
   
6. The phase of the moon.

I believe both sides make valid arguments for why or why not this is an issue, but I just wonder... Aren't there bigger fish to fry?

Tim "Hissing" James

The Pleasure of Babelfish

I where you visited the web site of my blog am excited so very!

That reading this page is that kind of reputation of the thing which chooses the fact that it comes to me!

I you or only all absolute existence desire well for your family!

When the left, he who to that is shown in the T-shirt finishes the fact that you obtain excessively soon to the shark, the happy surfer and the very fearful shark perhaps very it is not happy, become aware!

Today has done the fact that it is the day when your life is splendid!

Tim "it is lost with translation" James

Automated Teller Magic

Some people get all the luck. This never happens at my ATM. What a sweet deal. One times the effort, four times the payoff. I'd be interested in what the conversation went like when this was reported.

PATRON: "Uhm... yeah, I just wanted to let you know your ATM just gave me four times the money I asked for."

EMPLOYEE: "Oh really? Hmmm... Thanks, we'll look into it."

PATRON: "Don't I get some sort of reward or something?"

EMPLOYEE: "Sounds like you already did. Come to think of it, why aren't you over there getting more 'reward' right now? As a matter of fact, why not just go deposit that extra money, come back here, withdraw a little bit more cash, deposit the extra money, deposit a little more cash... wash, rinse, and repeat. Then see how long this goose keeps laying golden eggs."

PATRON: "Oh, hadn't thought of that. Wouldn't that be like stealing?"

EMPLOYEE: "Let's see... you ask for $20 and get $80. $20 of which are taken out of your account, $60 of which are available without charge for you to deposit. You then ask for those $60 and get $240. All of which are free. Sounds like a buy 1 get 3 deal to me. It might be 'like' stealing, but it's not. It's compound interest baby."

PATRON: "Oh, hadn't thought of that."

EMPLOYEE: "Well, thanks for letting me, I mean us know. Like I said before, we'll look into it."

Tim "slow news week" James

It's Corntastic!

It's always good to see a community united in a common purpose, banding together to celebrate a shared experience, friends and family joining to commemorate a momentous occasion. It's even better when that banding together is for a town's 150th anniversary, and people actually care. It's best of all when said celebration involves a 16-acre corn maze.

Now it is possible for all those visiting Nebraska to simply enter the state, see nothing but corn, and leave. Oh wait, that was already the case, wasn't it?

Good Luck Columbus, and Happy Birthday while I'm at it.

Tim "lost in a sea of mediocrity" James

The iBomb

Wow. Or more appropriately... WoW. This poor guy had quite a trip to meet up with some online gaming buddies. So did his iPod. I don't really have much to add to the story except to say that 'Tim' in the above-referenced article does not apply to me.

At least that's what I'm telling people.

Tim "iBored" James

Public Service Announcement #118

When geocaching in Monroe, OH, ensure the following:

• It is not dark out
• You are not 'suspicious looking'
• Any witnesses understand what you are doing
  
• You are not expecting real treasure

Tim "covered with duct tape" James

Attention Academy:

There is no need to release or view any movies for the remainder of this year. The best movie, by far, of this or any year has already been released and thus the rest of the season will be moot.

Beerfest is here. While some may think titles such as "Snakes on a Plane" or "Zoom" would offer better fare than Beerfest, they are wrong.

This movie has originality, innovation, and ground-breaking cinematic flair oozing out of all its pores. I don't want to give too much away, but there's a group of underdogs who have to try to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds to achieve victory and reclaim their honor.

With a premise like this and the cast to back it up. This one's definitely a hit. If you can think of a better film, let me know and I'll point out how wrong you are.

Tim "this is my sarcastic font" James

Poor Pluto

1930-2006

Well, it's official. We went and lost ourselves a planet yesterday. I guess now we lose our Nine Pizza-Pies and My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Noodles or something like that. But Pluto isn't so much gone, I guess, as redefined. Now it's a "dwarf planet". All because it plays well with others and "has not cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit."

So this poor little planet, who nobody even noticed for most of it's life, got named after the god of death, was finally getting spacecraft sent it's way, getting to hang out with the big guys, and generally doing a fine job of minding it's own business now is kicked out of the planet club. Sheesh, give the kid a break.

What does that even mean "has not cleared the neighbourhood"? Is that like a citation or something? What did it do? Leave a couple of cars up on blocks in the front yard? Walk by some trash in the gutter without cleaning it up? Allow kids to walk on its lawn? Run over Mr. McFeely during one of his Speedy Delivery runs? Wait, no... I think NOT running over Mr. McFeely might contribute to this particular offense.

I guess I'm just glad I'm not a teacher or a textbook or a really cool painted ceiling that now has to change and learn to incorporate "dwarf planet friendly" nomenclature such as Ceres and 2003 UB313 into its lexicon.

Tim "Small Solar-System Body" James

You Can't Win Them All

But these guys can't seem to even win once. I got a little confused about the exact route they took, but things appeared to go a little south to me. Talk about walking the road to nowhere. Or digging the ditch to it. I don't really understand how this plan could have possibly gone wrong, it had all the makings of pure brilliance... but I guess some things just weren't meant to be.

Tim "gotta get me a shoehorn" James

Bring It On

Sometime today, the clock in my office is going to line up with the clock in the drawing. That will be a good time. A good time indeed. At least I hope so. I mean, I don't really know what the day is going to bring, or the evening for that matter, I just know it'll bring something, so I'll try to be ready. Perhaps it will be something memorable, perhaps not. But I'll do what I can to make each moment a "good time" and enjoy what I've got here in front of me.

Whatever life may bring, man, whatever life may bring.

Tim "not attending a hoe-down... to my knowledge" James

If You Believe...

It appears NASA has been unable to find the original tapes of the moon landing. Hmmm... interesting. They've been looking for over a year and "haven't been able to locate" them. Hmmm... very interesting. Apparently, over 700 boxes of archival footage from the Apollo missions are missing. Hmmm... very interesting indeed.

There are some who claim this to be a continued cover-up by The Powers That Be to prevent the public from knowing the truth about the supposed Apollo Moon Landings. And then there are some who disagree. They can't both be right, can they?

Take a look at the picture of the lunar lander (Courtesy NASA). That thing looks like it could handle a moon-landing about as well as the Lemon Peeler could make a safe trek through the Shawnee Mission Park mountain-bike trails. So what is the real story here?

Well, it's rather complicated to go into in a blog entry, as the limitations of the written word are such that communicating the full intricacies and ramifications becomes difficult if not impossible. But I can touch on the basic main point: Both sides are right! The melding of the two camps involves time-travel, the early Mayan civilization, an Atari 2600, the fifth dimension, Masonic rituals, the year 2012, Alien Intelligence, sweet pickle relish, Baba O'Riley, a Rubik's cube, three left-hand ski gloves, a loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.

It explains everything, though... and I mean 'everything'.

Tim "Dude, where's my moon tapes?" James

Dinosaurs-R-Us

This is a case of a "draw-first, write later" blog. I don't have any idea what to write, but I wanted to draw a dinosaur, so there you have it. That's the picutre. Now to come up with a caption and a story to go with it. Or not. I could just leave the picture and write nothing in the text worth reading and hope it goes over well.

Yeah, that's what I'll do. Not much to report on anyway. Except for my enjoyment of the musical presentation of the book of Tobit, my flight to Columbia, MO where the sinus cavity behind my eye felt like it was going to explode, and my good friend Scott getting ordained as a Minister of Word and Sacrement. It was all good (no exploding sinus cavities), so hopefully you'll enjoy the dinosaur. I don't have a name for the guy yet, so let me know what it should be.

Tim "perhaps Frederick?" James

Fun with <pre>

 _____         _              _
|_   _|__   __| | __ _ _   _.//___
  | |/ _ \ / _` |/ _` | | | |\/ __|
  | | (_) | (_| | (_| | |_| | \__ 
  |_|\___/ \__,_|\__,_|\__, | |___/
                       |___/  
           _                   
 ___ _ __ | |_ _ __ _   _   _ ___
/ _ \ '_ \| __| '__| | | | | / __|
| __/ | | | |_| |  | |_| | | \__ 
 ___|_| |_|\__|_|   \__, | |_|___/
                    |___/                                 
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|#|      /#\  |##\/##|#####|#|
|#|     /#_#\ |#|##|#|###| |#|
|#|___ /#####\|#|  |#|#|___|#|
|#####/#/   \#\#|  |#|#####(#)
                   
 _____                  _                
|_   _}_ _ __  "\0/" _ | |__ _ _ __  ___ ___
  | | | | '  \   |  | || / _` | '  \/ -_|_-<
  |_| |_|_|_|_| / \  \__/\__,_|_|_|_\___/__/ 

Low Headroom

Got a link to this "I didn't think there would be a problem, officer" story the other day and just had to share it with y'all. It's even been 'verified' by Snopes.com.

Note to self: Permits appear to be required for a reason... perhaps they aren't so bad after all.

Tim "Mr. Intertia" James

Somewhere Over the What the?!?

I'm not entirely sure, but I think this might have something to do with why Kansas gets a bad rep.

Tim "now blogging about it" James

Computerized Canvas

If you haven't read The Credit Card Prank (Parts I and II even), you should. It's pretty worth reading if you ask me... which you didn't, but I don't care as I'm in charge of this site so I can write what I want. You, of course, have the same freedoms, just add comments. There, now that that's settled, let's get on with the entry proper.

If you hadn't noticed, I find Microsoft Paint to be wicked awesome. I don't know why I get such a thrill using it, but I do. Maybe it's the simplicity and innocence of the thing: If your drawing of a cute bunny rabbit ends up looking like something Jackson Pollock could have signed, you can always say "Hey, I was using Microsoft Paint, give me a break." It's kinda like a get out of jail free card or something. Of course, my "cute little bunny rabbit" turned out looking just plain creepy, and is nowhere near a Pollock work of art, so I don't know if playing the Paint card is gonna help me.

If only you could upload pictures here too... we could compare rabbits.

Tim "purveyor of pulp" James

Welcome #6417329

There's been another addition to the world's population. This time courtesy of my friends Kevin and Melissa. ???? ????? Brewer was born at 6:something-something in the AM on Sunday, August 13, 2006. Last I knew, there wasn't an official name for the little girl yet, but I'm sure something is in the works.

Stay tuned for more details on this breaking news story. And enjoy your Monday, or whatever day it is when you read this, if you read this. But I guess you did since you are reading this, huh? If I tell you not to read the rest, will you still read it? Yep, you did. CHEATER!!

UPDATE: The baby's name is Lily Mae. The whole fam is home and doing well. Pictures are here. Thanks for asking.

Take off, eh.
Tim "???" James

The Labelmaker

Way back in the day, in an 'Interpersonal Communications' course, I was introduced to the "Meyers-Briggs Temperament Indicator" which claimed to be able to classify everyone's personality on the basis of four categories having one of two values. Resulting in a mere 16 possible bins for all of us to be thrown into.

So they had us take this test, and then we found out what we 'were'. Or at least what the test claimed we were. You are either Introverted or Extroverted, Intuitive or Sensing, Thinking or Feeling, and Judging or Perceiving. I got pretty fascinated about this whole process, wondering what the merit was behind all of this, and how the whole 'nature vs. nurture' part of the debate fit in, and not liking the idea of there only being 16 different types of people in the world, but I did agree with most of what they said I 'was' (INTP), so it intrigued me.

I eventually bought the book (Please Understand Me II) and even made myself a little program that let me take the test automagically without having to write anything down. If you don't know your bin, and want to take an online version of the test (not the one I made), try this one here. Then let us know what you 'are'.

All this to say why do we have to label everything and try to find an explanation or a tidy little container to put everyone in? Or do we? If we do, is it a bad thing? I don't know, but I find myself doing it all the time...

"What kind of work do you do?"

"Where do you live?"

"Are you taking any prescription medication?"

I guess I try to construct a box for everything and everyone, since without it I'm just too uncomfortable with all the mystery or uncertainness, or lack of control or whatever it is that motivates me to explore and find out that the box no longer fits, so I can then create a new one, which will then be found wanting...

And so on.

Tim "choose your own adventure" James

Up, Up, and Away

Super Grover is one of my heroes. As a kid I had a stuffed Super Grover that I was extremely fond of. Even when it was all ratty and broken-down due to years of (over)-use. I mean, who can't love a superhero who can fly (but has trouble with landings), has to ask people not to step on his cape, wears a nice shiny helmet, doesn't disguise his identity, and learns something about life and/or himself nearly every time he interacts with somebody.

Shine on, you crazy Super Grover, Shine on.

Tim "brought to you by the letter G" James

Funderwear

As today is National Underwear Day, we should celebrate by wearing underwear... I guess. I'm not really sure why we need a National Underwear Day, or how 'National' it even is yet as they're signing petitions or whatever, but it is blogworthy and got me thinking about what I wear under there today so I guess it served it's purpose. I'm not yet ready for doing the tour de KC in just my skivvies to conduct the underwear surveys, but KC isn't yet ready for me either, so it kinda works out.

Tim "no dress code at work, but I think this would be pushing it a little too far" James

Cellular Schmellular

I don't know why I have such a hard time with it, but it seems I just can't embrace the whole cellular phone revolution. Of course, the revolution is long over, but for some reason I can't get over the fact that the Empire has ended. I at least own a cellular phone now, but I hardly ever use it, and don't give the number out to people, so why do I even have the thing? "Emergency use" I guess, but I'm so illiterate with mine (just look at my feeble attempt to draw it) I probably wouldn't be able to pull that off either. Not to mention I can't even abbreviate 'cellular' properly...

But for all you wireless phone subscribers with worries about the telemarketers thing, don't be... it isn't happening yet according to Snopes.com. Until that day, I'll just keep my 'real' phone as I need those telemarketing calls, survey calls, political messages, and charitable donation calls to give me someone to talk to.

Whoever inventetd that No Call List thing probably had more friends than me, cuz I love a good chat with a complete stranger using a script about the merits of purchasing more items or services I do not need and could never use.

Love it like how I love getting gasoline poured in my ears.

Tim "land line ho!" James

Bartender...

I need a refill. As you can see, I've run out of M. My can is quite a bit on the empty side of things this fine, rainy day. So I'll just ramble about nothing for a while here, which is the whole point of a blog anyway.

Lately I've been sleeping better, but remembering my dreams more. This seems weird as I recall being told that remembering your dreams was only supposed to happen if you woke up at the 'wrong' part of your sleep cycle (Plus, the dreams themselves haven't exactly been 'normal'). I tried to find a link to an article about that, but didn't look very hard, due to the low M levels today. All I found were links to strange dream-interpretation sites that I didn't want to read or share with the rest of you. Google "remembering dreams" and "quality of sleep" to see for yourself.

Speaking of celebrations, My friends Ted and Hannah just had their first child last week. Noah David Mabie was born on August 1 @ 3:28 in the PM. Welcome to the world, Noah. He's a cute little guy, and they're home and happy now, though they might be remembering more of their dreams in the coming weeks and months.

Tim "hour hand" James

The Space Between

Listen to the Dogbert, boys and girls, for the moral of today's lesson: Perhaps a better title for this post would be something along the lines of "Nothing New Under the Sun" as I plan on blatantly plagiarising as much material as possible in an attempt to make a point that I'm not even sure exists.

A 'textbook-style' definition of negative space lives on your friend and mine here, but I prefer examples (but I have to admit their swan pic is pretty decent).

I think my favorite use of negative space (besides the works of M. C. Escher who has now appeared twice on these pages) is in the logo for the NCAA Big Ten conference. For those who aren't aware, the Big Ten Conference has eleven teams. And that's just what the logo says. Cool, huh?

While we're at it, let's just go ahead and throw in a work accenting negative space by the main man M.C.E. This is his woodcut (another woodcut, dang!) Sky and Water I. This man had a brilliant mind for seeing the patterns and intricacies of things that I can barely comprehend.

Speaking of barely comprehending anything, let's throw in a life application via song lyrics section, okay?

The first song that came to mind was the DMB song mentioned in the title. My most favoritest lines in this song are as follows:

The space between
what's wrong and right
is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you.
The space between
your heart and mine
is the space we'll fill with time

Then you've got the classic power-ballad from Rush called "Free Will" with the 'more true and complicated than it sounds on first listen' line:

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Our next exhibit is brought to you by those good folks at Corporate Logo Design Incorporated, or wherever it is that the Fed Ex logo was made. That's got a bit of a coolness factor going on with the negative space thing too, dontcha think?

Your homework: Think about the negative space this week. The things we don't do, or don't say, or don't think about, or don't pay attention to have just as much impact, and sometimes more, as the things we do. Once again I must use outside material to make a point. Attributed to St. Francis of Assisi:

Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words.

And finally, a 'first appearance on the web Microsoft Paint original' work by Tim "came to snuff the rooster" James

Yes Virginia, there is a better Gyro

There's a term my old college roommate and I had for a certain quality a restaurant either possessed or it did not: "Normitude".

Norm was (and still is to my knowledge) the owner/operator of the M&N Sandwich Shop in Lincoln, NE. Stepping into Norm's store was like stepping into what would happen if a Blues Bar, a Chicago eatery and the Cornhusker football team mated and produced an offspring that served delicious food made to order.

Things might have been a little off-kilter and awkward during your first visit to Norm's place, but you soon warmed up to the shop (if you knew what was good for ya) and eventually realized that in addition to the peppers and pastrami, the secret ingredient was love. Norm loves serving a good meal.

You don't see "Normitude" just anywhere and you might miss it if you aren't looking in the right places. Well, I've missed the M&N Sandwich shop since moving away from Lincoln, but I've found a new place that's way up high on the scale of Zero to Norm. It's called the Pita Deli & Market, but we call it The Pita Place.

It's just a little place between a dry-cleaners and a Weight Watchers, but the "Normitude" is sky-high. David, the owner/operator, takes the time to make each meal, discuss the latest news, tell how his family is doing, ask about your day, and get you exactly what you came in there for... a great meal. I don't even have to order any more unless I want to change things up a little bit. As soon as I walk in he knows he'll most likely be making a "Pepper Jack, spicy".

So if you're ever in the neighborhood (151st and Mur-Len) and in the mood for a good meal (complete with Fashion TV), stop on in and tell 'em Tim sent ya. And while you're at it, let me know of some more places with serious "Normitude".

Tim "medium rare" James

Going Postal

My sister tipped me off yesterday to this amazing tidbit of knowledge, and I just had to share it with the rest of you. Now available at your local Post Office : DC Comics in their own sheet of 20 stamps.

Don't know what the significance of this is, except that I'll have to take me a trip to my Post Office soon before they sell out!

Tim "out of touch" James

Wiki-Click It

Wikipedia is amazing. If you haven't used it, you should check it out. It's kinda like Google on Crack. All these people are adding stuff about stuff all the time. It's a living encyclopedia with no real accountability except that of your peers. Or, well, at least your contemporaries. Maybe they are somebody's peers too, but I don't really know.

Which brings me to my next point. Who takes the time to create these articles, and why is there so much information about comic book characters? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining in the least, quite the opposite actually. I'm a big comic book fan myself and it just so happens that my friend John and I have 'invented' a game where you take a topic, Wikipedia it, and see how many clicks it takes to get to a comic book character. We think there's like 6 degrees of separation or something. Here's some of our results so far. Feel free to add to the list as you see fit.

From - - - - - - - ->To - - - - - Clicks
-----------------------------------------
St. George's Cross- >Union Jack - - 3
Sun - - - - - - - - >Superman - - - 2
Tootsie Roll Pop - ->Batman - - - - 2
Appletiser - - - - ->Loki - - - - - 3
Cholesterol - - - - >Poison Ivy - - 4
Cholesterol - - - - >Batman - - - - 4
James - - - - - - - >Wolverine - - -1
Garmin G1000 - - - ->Spider-Man - - 5
Circle of Fifths - ->Fantastic Four 2
America - - - - - - >Judge Dredd - -2
John - - - - - - - ->Union Jack - - 5
Vic Rattlehead - - ->Green Lantern -4

Or you can just roll your eyes, sigh, say something like "my, my, my" and wonder what other nerdy 'games' I try to play.

Tim "spaghetti sandwich" James

Relativity

This is one of my favorite M. C. Escher works. (M.C. Escher's "Relativity" (c) 2006 The M.C. Escher Company BV - the Netherlands. All rights reserved. Used by permission. www.mcescher.com)

Even more impressive to me than the beauty and genius expressed in the finished work is that it was a woodcut. A woodcut for crying out loud! He didn't just draw this thing, he carved it, removing every bit of white that you see (unless it is printed on black paper with white ink, but I don't think that's the case).

Then you've got the whole "deeper meaning" part of the work, where you wonder if 'up' is the same 'up' for everyone... likewise with the 'down' and 'side to side'. I'm not saying I'm solving any of life's mysteries by looking at this print, just that it makes me think and I like stuff that does that.

Tim "irregular division of a plane" James

The Lemon Peeler

Here's that bike I was telling everyone about...

Well, this isn't actually the bike it's just a picture of it. And it's actually not even a picture of the bike but rather just a picture of an old ad for the bike.

This thing is seriously pimped-out: It's got full suspension, hand-brakes (with a drum brake on the front wheel), 20-inch racing slick rear wheel, 16-inch front wheel, 5 speed stik shift, and a coolness factor that's just through the roof. This thing is one sweet ride, let me tell you what. However, it's not too practical for a daily commute as it weighs about 40 pounds if not more.

$86.95... and that's 1968 dollars.

Tim "contrary to popular belief" James

The great pretender

Hello World.

There, I did it. The first step in any programming class... creating the 'Hello World' display. Hopefully it worked. Well, duh... I guess it did since you are reading this, huh?

I don't know why I started this thing, there are a few goals I have in mind, but most of them involve eating something for lunch today and not crashing into anything during the drive home.

Speaking of lunch, it's time to go.

Speaking of Phoenix, it's dang hot outside.

Tim "rising from the ashes" James