Carve Up a Winner

With these step-by-step instructions, I'm sure to win the pumpkin carving contest this year!!

• "Scroll down and learn how to create your very own."

Sounds like a good plan. I'll take you up on this challenge, I've got my pumpkin and I'm ready to go. Bring it on!

• "Picking out the right pumpkin is very important."

Ahh. I see. With instructions like these, I'm sure to succeed!! Hopefully the one I got is "right".

• "After a few hundred mess ups you will begin to know just exactly..."

Uhm... hold on just a second, let me get this straight... A few hundred mess-ups to BEGIN to know?!!?! Dang, yo. Hmmm... Where am I gonna find 100+ "right" pumpkins? That's gonna take a little time, methinks.

• "Hard to explain but the pictures may explain."

Uhm... no. It's not working. Perhaps some video would help me out here. That or a little bit of sculpting ability. After my hundred and eleventeenth failure, I'm sure not getting too worried about the 45° X-Acto teeth.

• "Hope you enjoyed our tutorial."

If by 'enjoyed' you mean 'found interesting, promising, and delightfully simple, yet ultimately unrepeatable' then yes, yes I did.

Oh well, maybe it just wasn't meant to be. There's always next year...

Tim "sticking to Paint" James